Heretical Thoughts
April 2026
Hey there friend… Welcome to The HFW.
So listen, I didn’t start this because I had some big, polished plan.
I started it because I was just. SO. Tired.
Not the Help: Why I Started The Heretical Farm Wife
A while back I went online, searching for anything to ease the chaos of being a farm wife.
I scrolled through social media, seeing the typical “Trad Wife” stretching and folding her sourdough, frolicking with her chickens like a Summer’s Eve commercial. The Insta cute hobby farms with Highlands.
None of this looked like me or my life.
Nobody was talking about the power struggles…
The WILDLY dysfunctional relationship dynamics…
The desperate attempts to make anything run more smoothly…
The crushing insanity of trying to make a living from farming.
Eventually though, I discovered there were others - women trying to figure out farm life, kids, relationships – all with the same feeling of overwhelm, the same swirling questions, the same heartache.
At first, it was validating, kind of a relief. Like, okay…I’m not crazy!
But then it became sobering – there were actually waaaay more of us.
They’re just posting anonymously in private Facebook groups - hidden away, holding on for dear life.
The well meaning responses in those groups of
“pray on it”
and
“remember your job is to be his helpmate”
felt like gaslighting. This shit is painful, and hard, and women deserve more.
SO I BUILT THIS.
Not because I have answers to everything.
I don’t. I’m still in it too.
But I didn’t want to feel alone in it anymore, and maybe other people didn’t either.
That’s where The Heretical FarmWife came from.
A place to:
- tell the truth about what this life actually feels like
- question things (without being shut down)
- and start figuring out how to live in this farming life….. differently
WHAT YOU’LL FIND HERE
This isn’t going to be one specific type of conversation. It will evolve – but here’s what I know for sure:
You’ll find tools. Not well-meaning advice.
Actual ways to think, decide, and move forward. Things I wish I had at the beginning!
How to:
- actually get clear when your brain is all over the place
- know what you want (not what you should want/do)
- set boundaries without blowing everything up
- understand your own thinking patterns
- make decisions and not second-guess them for three days
And also -
Some very real-life things like:
- how to keep a house functional when it’s surrounded by dirt and unpredictability
- bookkeeping or operational ideas
- keeping cow shit out of your kitchen
- farm planning and structure
- what age should you let the kids drive the skid steer
Because, well, that’s (part of) what I think about!
A LITTLE ABOUT ME
I grew up rurally, with a career spent in corporate, consulting, leadership development, and mental health and mindset spaces. And now I’m here… living this life!
So, this is kind of where those worlds meet.
More on my story later, this is long enough….. ;)
WHERE TO START
If you haven’t grabbed it yet, start with this:
“Not the Help: The Heretical FarmWife’s Field Guide to Owning Your Life”
It’s a short workbook to help you sort through what’s going on in your head and get a little clarity.
Nothing fancy – just useful.
WHAT I’M THINKING ABOUT NEXT
I’m playing with the idea of doing a video meet up where we actually talk through real situations.
Not a bitch session! There’s enough of that already.
More like:
- bring something you’re dealing with
- talk it through
- leave with a clearer sense of what to do next
We’ll see where that goes.
IF YOU WANT TO FOLLOW ALONG
I’ll be adding more tools, ideas, and figuring this out as we go.
If you want to be included in that… Join the newsletter!
That’s where I’ll share new stuff as it comes together, including things to try, and updates on virtual meet ups.
LAST THING
My perspective won’t land with everyone. And that’s totally fine! It shouldn’t!
But if you read this and felt a little bit of:
“ …ohhhh.”
Then you’re probably in the right place. And you’re definitely not the only one.
I’m glad you’re here!